What to do when feeling the struggle

We all have periods in our lives that are intense, difficult and trying. These are what I like to term as ‘spiritual initiations’ or ‘shifts’.


During these times, we can struggle with more negative and denser emotions, particular events, health crises, etc – and these periods can take time to resolve or change. They often lead to times of deep soul searching and introspection.

When we are in these voids, we feel the struggle and intensity. Often we have little energy and it is a time when we tend to reflect over what we have achieved so far in our lives and also look at what is not working in our lives.

These times are crucial to our growth and personal development. Without them we would not evolve and would feel stuck.


During these times, however intense and tricky the circumstances or situations may be for us, I now know deep down that things will always resolve.


I know and believe that Divine intervention does exist, which allows me to accept that I ultimately have no control over the circumstances that play out in my life.


If we do not get caught up in the moment and become overwhelmed by the drama of the situation then we obtain gifts of clarity, insight and revelation regarding the circumstances. Our mind also opens to the different possibilities in our life.


So these periods often teach us to re-assess and re-evaluate our lives.


I often get insight into which aspects of my life are no longer working for me. These can include: beliefs about myself and my life; thoughts; feelings towards others and myself; perceptions I may have; certain situations; friendships; relationships in general, etc.

I even start to see the spiritual meaning behind certain events that set up in my day to day life. i.e I start to understand that a situation has led me to where I am now. I also see situations as golden opportunities to grow and to learn to ‘hold my light’ more even when they are tricky…

When we do manage to hold our light and not get caught up in the drama of the situation we again find peace and resolution to ongoing conflict.

How to support ourselves in these times of struggle:


As we are more vulnerable to energetic manipulation and other people’s energy in times of struggle:


·      Try staying away during these periods from people and circumstances that deplete your energy.


·      Be discerning about conversations that you get involved in, films, social media, books, films, etc.


·     It is important to re-connect to source as much as possible and run energy, meditate and have quiet times.


·      I know that my thoughts and feelings impact on others, so I connect to my heart as much as possible to not allow those feelings to be projected out towards others.


How true surrender to circumstances can help us grow


Surrender is a key spiritual concept that plays a huge part in our self-growth.

The act of Surrendering is one that is often misunderstood and trivialised. There is a lot of misconception around the act of surrender and it is often mistakenly perceived as: -

·      An act of failure or defeat; a simple decision to ‘let go’; or a decision that we decide to be comfortable with.

·      A task that we can do or accomplish with our mind.

·      A state that we can will ourselves into.


How we often experience it:


The nature of our mind tries to control everything it comes in contact with. We try to manipulate situations that occur in our lives through our ego which is driven by fear.

We all have strategies and self-defence mechanisms to try to ensure that we only have good experiences and not the bad ones.  Our minds will fight with, reject, ignore and push against the situations that we don’t want to have. 

BUT the natural law of the Universe does not operate like this! The negative situations provide opportunities for soul growth and ultimately we have no control over them!

Eventually, a situation comes into our life or changes in such a way that we can no longer keep fighting against it. We finally know in our hearts, that struggle against the inevitable is futile. We come to realise that another direction or path is needed.

This sort of situation will rock the foundation of who we are and we know it to be past our limits. 

Sometimes it can be a situation that we’ve been living with for a long time or a sudden event that completely overwhelms us.

The circumstances will have the power to bring us to our knees – and even change us forever. This is where true Surrender begins!

Surrender comes when we know that we cannot see a way out of where we are at. We cannot control or manipulate any longer!

We recognise that we can no longer do things the way we have been doing them previously, a moment longer!

The act of Surrender in itself is relatively easy; it’s the path to surrender that’s difficult! But when Surrender finally arrives, we get a deep sense of ease and peace within ourselves.

The situation does not get better or easier, but we feel better because we know to our very core that we cannot fix it! Something deep within us relaxes when we finally accept this.

We don’t give in to the situation, but we give up the notion that we should be controlling it.

The act of Surrender is a true gift.  When we finally accept that we can no longer continue in the way that we have been doing, we allow the flow of life to carry us to where ever it is we need to go. We are often given gifts of wisdom, insight and revelation along the way and circumstances often resolve in miraculous and unimaginable ways.


A Technique for surrender:


I believe that we don’t always need to be on our knees to reach true Surrender every time! We can practice Surrender on a smaller scale, during the moments when we are OK.

When a negative situation occurs in your life, set the intent to feel into the circumstances and feelings that it provokes. Be careful not to allow your mind to add to, manipulate or fight against these feelings. 

Allow yourself to feel into the feelings and go as far as you can with them. I feel that by feeling our feelings in this way, this allows us to surrender to them and eventually to release them. If true surrender occurs, you will experience relief, gratitude, ease, peace and even joy. 

Through my own personal experience of Surrender, I have an inner knowingness that there is something greater in my life that is at play. For when we surrender, not out of helplessness, but out of complete trust that we are divinely guided, cherished, loved and protected by Universe – this becomes very empowering for us!

I know that all the decisions, events and circumstances that play out in my life, are perfect for me and for my higher good. I never question these circumstances because I have an unshakable faith that although tricky, they will always slowly resolve themselves and often in unimaginable ways – if we learn to surrender to them. Ultimately, I know that I am being given a wonderful opportunity for spiritual growth.


Re-connecting with our inner world allows spirit to shine out to the outer one!  

Shine your light on the world!

Up until very recently our education system in the UK, does not place enough value on developing and encouraging unique gifts and talents, inspiration, imagination, creativity and intuition. This was certainly the case when I was growing up as a child and what I witnessed as a teacher in mainstream education. I do believe, however, that things are very slowly beginning to change.  


These valuable aspects of our selves have often been ignored or undervalued, causing suppression of unique gifts and talents and a disconnection to our inner world. Consequently, many clients that I work with, struggle to know who they truly are and what they were ultimately created to do. Many really desire to know what their destiny and purpose is in this life time.


This year alone, I have had countless conversations with clients who feel unfulfilled by their career, job or life in general because of this disconnection to their inner world.


Often their reasons for choosing a particular career or job, arose from financial considerations, expectations from others, or low self-worth issues.


I often meet clients who are either unaware of their passions, gifts and talents or underestimate the importance of bringing them into everyday life.



I feel that in order to reconnect to our inner world, we don’t have to necessarily monetise our passions/gifts/talents or even build a career out of them! (Some people do manage to monetise and forge a career out of what they love to do. For example, professional de-clutterers and Youtubers!)

It is important, however, to value them and create opportunities to use them for ourselves and for others.


We all have unique gifts and talents, but a lot of us don’t recognise them as such. For example, you could be someone who:


·      Loves to make other people laugh;

·      Have a knack for relating events in an engaging way;

·      Is a good listener;

·      Is an amazing parent;

·      Has a very unique sense of style and appearance;

·      Knows how to make their home look beautiful and welcoming;

·      Has amazing organisational skills;

·      Is a great problem solver;

·      Knows how to creatively make the most out of a shoe string budget.


If we deny and undervalue our unique gifts and talents we can sometimes struggle with low self-esteem and this can in turn can lead to conflict issues in our life because we feel undervalued and not heard or seen for who we truly are!


How can we reconnect to our inner world?


·      Think back to your childhood and what you loved to do. What did you spend hours doing as a child?

·      Make a list of the things you can remember doing as a child.

·      Try and find a way to do some of those things regularly, if possible, and if drawn.

·      Watch uplifting films and listen to uplifting stories that touch your heart and soul – these will inspire your spirit.

·      Look to big personalities and achievers for inspiration - notice how they use their gifts and talents.

·      Make a playlist of inspirational music.

·      Have a bank of inspirational teachings to listen to.

·      Create a vision board of quotes and images that inspire you.

·      Always take inspired action.



Reconnecting to your inner world helps you:


·      Feel recognised and valued for who you are.

·      Resolves conflict

·      Enhances self-worth and an inner-sense of self.


Bring more Forgiveness and Unconditional love into your life

Bring forgiveness and unconditional love into your life –

watch as your relationships thrive



As we enter the Autumn period, we are naturally drawn to decluttering and shedding at this point of the yearly cycle. This is the season to be letting go of the things that no longer serve – whether this be physical things like wardrobe items, sentimental objects or, more significantly, negative thoughts, feelings and behaviour patterns. Like nature, we shed the old, unwanted aspects of ourselves, to make way for those things that will serve a purpose for our higher good.  


The inevitability of the changing seasons of nature’s cycle, mirrors our own personal growth.


The new year is born at the Winter Solstice (21st-22nd December). After the death of the old year, this new year starts to mature by the Spring Equinox and then the days start to get longer until the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year. Summer represents the peak and prime of this yearly cycle, where energy and light are abundant. By the Autumn Equinox, the days are shortening, and the nights are lengthening. The year has begun its descent into old age, till we get to the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year; the death of the old year making way for the new year and the start of a new cycle.


This is an optimal time to reflect on how our year has gone. We tend to assess our successes and challenging aspects of ourselves. We are being given a golden opportunity to shed the old, to make way for the new.


Our heart chakra, an energy point within the body stores our emotions. A lot of suppressed pain and wounding from unresolved past life experiences, through to inner child pain and present life trauma – lie deeply buried within the chambers of our heart. These feelings can keep us locked in the past and living with old energy!


In order to release this pain and suppressed feelings from the heart, I work with simple techniques to open up the heart chakra and strengthen feelings of Forgiveness and Unconditional love.

This has become a ‘first thing in the morning’ daily practice for me. It brings through higher feelings of love and compassion and I often remember to come back to this place when I am struggling in the moment, with more negative feelings.

By intentionally bringing through these higher frequency feelings, we create deeper connections with our inner self and with others in our life.

By enabling ourselves to truly let go, we will start to notice a change in our relationships and a shift of focus on life in general.


As we work more with these higher feelings of Forgiveness and Unconditional love, we notice that other people’s behaviour changes towards us!!


I often use  the following Heart opening technique and Forgiveness mantra to enhance these higher feelings within myself.




Heart opening techniques and Mantra of Forgiveness:


Bring to mind a situation, person or organisation with whom you have been struggling with recently.


Be intentional as you bring your focus down into your heart chakra and see, sense or feel your heart opening up and releasing any pain and tension.


Repeat the following Mantra with intent and feeling:


‘I forgive you, I love you, I’m sorry and I thank-you’


Check out my Forgiveness mantra.


This is based on the ancient Hawaiian mantra of Forgiveness and enables us to bring through these higher feelings of Forgiveness and Unconditional love for all.

This in turn creates energetic space for more positive emotions and resolution, bringing in peace and joy and letting go of anger and frustration.


Trust and surrender through the heart also play a big part in the act of Forgiveness. They enable you to see the spiritual meaning behind everything that happens to you and help you to come from a heart-based consciousness.


Buddhist monks call this Compassion. In our Western civilisation, Compassion is often mistaken for the act of feeling sorry for someone else – which is one aspect of Compassion. True Compassion comprises the bedrock of the Buddhist traditions and is a deep, pure love and forgiveness that is embodied at every moment of our lives, despite the situation or person standing in front of us and their attitude towards us.


At the end of the day, it is not about the other person, situation or organisation and the wrong that they may have inflicted upon us, but about the lessons that we can learn from that situation or altercation. Ultimately, we cannot change or control anything on the outside of our inner world but we can change the way we feel about them and the embodiment of Forgiveness absolutely enables us to truly let go and bring through Unconditional love.

Why your Intuition should be your best friend!

 Our Intuition is an amazing tool that we all have, but alot of us choose to ignore.


There are many words for our Intuition – ‘spider senses’, ‘inner guidance’, ‘gut feeling’, ‘instinct’, ‘inner voice’, etc.


The word Intuition means ‘inner teacher’ and it does just that!


If we know how to listen to it, it gives us amazing insight into situations that our brain cannot figure out easily. It comes up with the perfect plan; the perfect thing to say; the perfect feelings that cannot be ignored. So yes, my Intuition is definitely MY best imaginary friend.


I have listened to it for a while now…really listened to it. I consult with it, I ask questions of it. It always comes through for me and gives me the best decisions that are perfect for me in the moment. In fact, it never disappoints.  I feel like my inner-confidence and inner-strength and knowing has sky rocketed since I have been paying attention to my own inner compass.

Nowadays, I don’t really feel the need to ask advice of friends or family because my Intuition always comes through for me and I try and take inspired action from it.

Like I always say to my clients, the advice and opinions that they seek from others, are not necessarily the best for them!


Developing my intuitive muscle has, without a doubt, served a huge purpose for me.


How to develop our intuitive muscle:


In order to successfully develop our Intuition, trusting and being open to receive higher guidance is crucial!



Step 1: Setting your intent

While trust takes a while to develop, setting our intent to be open to receive messages in the form of signs, symbols, feelings, seemingly random thoughts from the Universe, can be done from the outset.


Step 2: Still yourself and quieten your mind


Perhaps take time first thing in the morning to carve out 5 minutes for yourself to go within and centre.



Step 3: Start small and be specific

Ask a specific question of your inner guide. If this is all new to you, then start with a small question that doesn’t have a huge consequence for you. Be really specific and concise with your question. Put it out there and wait for a sign, a feeling, a random thought that may pop into your head. Sometimes answers come through immediately, sometimes it may take a few days. But EVERYTHING is answered.


Step 4: Be open to receive

Set your intent to be open to whatever comes through for you. You will know when it is your Intuition and not just wishful thinking, by paying attention to your body. Your body will relax and the guidance will feel right for you. If there is any fear coming up, then this is not your Intuition, these are fear driven thoughts from your ego that loves to be in control!



Step 5: Keep a journal


Keep a journal by your bedside, in your handbag and at work, if need be. You can record any intuitive insight that comes through for you, during the day. Also make a note of the questions that you asked. This will enable you to appreciate your progress and hopefully keep the momentum going.





Step 6: take inspired action


When your questions are answered, take action! This allows the Universe to see that you are paying attention and will in turn reciprocate with more guidance. The more you listen to those subtle whispers of the heart, the stronger and more frequently they will become for you. Consequently, your trust will grow, along with your inner knowing and confidence.

How to bring long lasting change and transformation into your life


Taking responsibility for our reality


We are going to explore how to create deep transformation within ourselves.

The first step towards deep transformation, is recognising that our thoughts and feelings create our reality (see ‘how we weave and create our reality’ blog post).

Not only is it important to recognise this fact, but we need to own it and take responsibility for it too. Scary thought, right?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not apportioning blame and I am only too aware of the responsibility that I have had to shoulder for the creation of my own reality over the years!

Taking ownership of our own creations is a very empowering process for us! It means that we are ready to take the steps needed to resolve our current circumstances!



Preparing our environment


Before we take steps to resolve the parts of our lives that are not working for us, we need to prepare our ‘environment’.


By ‘environment’, I mean our mind; physical environment – home or work space; and our habits.


We need to identify what is no longer serving us in our lives and let go of it making way for the new things that will serve us – we are creating energetic space or an energetic vacuum.

In other words, it is time for some de-cluttering!

Decluttering for me, feels like a snake shedding its skin to reveal the shiny new one underneath. This is why it feels so good and many people are drawn to doing it.



Decluttering your environment to create energetic space


Step 1:

Look at your ‘environment’ and identify the things that no longer serve you:


Your environment includes:  –


Your mind: thoughts and feelings

Your home and work space: the house, garden, work space, decorative objects, wardrobe, cars, etc

Your habits:  films, books, podcasts, social media, foods, daily routines, exercise and spiritual nourishment


Step 2:

Make a list of the thoughts, feelings, objects, clothes, habits, etc that no longer serve you.



Step 3:

Each week take one or two things from your list and work on letting them go.


Step 4:

You have now created space and set your intent to allow new things into your life. Start to make loving choices for yourself.

We get our ‘spiritual nourishment’ by doing what feeds the soul and makes us sing.

This might be fulfilling a life-long desire/dream or simply watching an inspirational film regularly.

Do what brings you pleasure on a regular basis, however small. The other day, I bought myself a new lipstick and hair accessories and set the intent to spend more time on my appearance.


By making loving choices and acting upon them, you also give permission to others to do the same.


Be inspired, in spirit and inspiring to others!


Take it even further and give to the causes, organisations or people that nourish and inspire you – whether it be money, gratitude, time, effort, skills, etc.



Everyday practices for self-healing and transformation


Every morning, I practice physical and emotional clearing. Try these simple techniques to help clear physical symptoms and negativity from the body and mind.


Physical clearing:


·      If you have ongoing physical symptoms – feel into the sensations that these symptoms are bringing up for you.

·      Allow yourself to go right into the sensations and feel them dissolving.

·      Feel your body to be healing or healed. (even though it may not be – this is important).

·      Bring into your body a feeling of vitality and allow this feeling to spread throughout your entire body.



Mental and emotional clearing:


As soon as you wake up:

·      Identify your thoughts and feelings.

·      Tune into your feelings and allow yourself to feel them without attaching your thoughts.

·      Feel them dissolving and losing their power over you.

·      Simply say to your thoughts – ‘not today thank-you!’

·      Set your intent to only allow loving thoughts into your mind.

·      Set your intent to go forwards through your day with love, peace and flow in your heart.

·      Feel love and gratitude for the day that you are about to start.



At first, these practices may seem a little strange and even contrived. I know from personal experience, however, that if practiced daily, you will start to notice small shifts and changes within your reality. This will give you the momentum to continue.


As always say to my clients: “it is not what you did today that counts, it is what you do every day!”

How we weave and create our own reality

We are the creators of our own reality


We are all powerfully creative and are constantly weaving our reality, whether we are conscious of this fact or not!

Creativity in this context means to bring an idea, dream or thought into our reality and make it real. Creativity is an aspect of Manifestation.

Our thoughts are so powerfully creative, but our feelings are even more so. (In fact they are 100s of times more powerfully creative than our thoughts because of the energy that they hold). Whether these thoughts and feelings are positive or negative, they shape our reality and define who we are.

Because we use phrases such as: ‘don’t start creating’, ‘don’t cause chaos’/ ’don’t create a drama’ or ‘don’t make a scene’…

…I feel that at some level, we must know that our words, actions, intent, thoughts and feelings create a ripple effect throughout our reality – much like a spider on it’s web.


This concept of the spider’s web is found in many phrases such as:


·      the webs we weave

·      being tangled in a web of lies

·      spinning a yarn

·      webbing

·      even the world wide web


Our use of these phrases confirms that:


·      our thoughts and feelings are powerfully creative

·      we are creating our reality through them

·      our thoughts and feelings will impact on others – creating a ripple effect


‘We are the weavers of our own web of reality’ 


This is an empowering and rather scary thought! Although we are responsible in some part for creating our reality – it also means that we can take our power back, harness our thoughts and feelings and even heal our bodies, minds and souls.



No more excuses for negative projection!


When we understand how we create our own reality through our thoughts and feelings, awareness of our emotions at any given time, is crucial.

We no longer have the luxury of blaming others for our present circumstances, as we know that we are the creators of our own reality.

If unchecked, negativity causes blockages in our natural flow of energy and over a period of time, stagnation will settle in stopping our natural flow of manifestation.

Our frequency and vibration can lower and this lower vibration attracts more negative, denser thoughts, feelings, circumstances, and even people, to us. We start to control these situations, circumstances and other people in our lives through fear, perhaps building up self-defence mechanisms. Illusion starts to develop.

This becomes a hard cycle for us to break and it becomes even harder to look for optimal solutions to our tricky or difficult circumstances!

It also means that our good old ego has completely taken control of our consciousness through fear and is in the driving seat once again.


How do we weave a positive reality for ourselves?


Reconnecting to our inner world as much as possible is key. We need to be aware of our thoughts and feelings, take ownership of them, not blame others for our difficult circumstances and surrender and let go to the forces of destiny in our lives. 


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Empowered or Disempowered?

Empowered or Disempowered?

Being balanced in the way we use our power is an important step in our own empowerment process.

What do we mean by empowerment? Empowerment is the way we use our own personal inner power and the intent or reason behind it. We can be too much in our power and so tend to overpower others, or we can be too underpowered, therefore letting others yield their own power over us…


What to do when you are feeling blocked...

What to do when feeling blocked or unable to see a way forward…


From time to time, we can feel blocked and unable to move forwards with our lives.

Sometimes we can feel stuck in a situation and are unable to find an optimal solution…

We can even feel like we are destined for greater things but feel out of alignment with our true purpose.

Perhaps we have experienced the uncomfortable realisation that we don’t really know ourselves, who we are or what we want...

Or maybe we have a specific goal that we would love to achieve like weight loss or a dream job, but manifesting it is proving too difficult!

We have all experienced these feelings to varying degrees, probably influenced by how the stars have aligned in our chart, our upbringing, past life wounding, traumatic life events, etc.

All of these factors shape our beliefs, which in turn drive our decisions, behaviours, hopes, fears and simply the way that we see the world.

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to know right from Day 1 what their life's purpose is? What about the people who are amazing decision makers? How do they know what is best for them in the moment?

These are the people who continually listen to their inner guidance, take action solely on their gut instinct and allow that inner voice to be heard!

We all have a purposegifts and talents - whether we are aware of them or not.

We could be gifted in making other people laugh; or destined to be a good listener; a great home maker, or even have a knack for making a home look beautiful.

Remember, our destiny and purpose and how we use our gifts does not necessarily have to an aspect of our career!

(Although I have heard of people who have taken their gifts to the next level – for example - a professional declutterer).

Using your gifts and talents and living your purpose will give you a sense of pleasure and fulfillment, especially if you value them within yourself…

Gifts and talents can come through at any age, but can become blocked because we may have chosen to ignore them, or they bring up fear for you. We may even feel that if we allow them to surface that it will change us or our relationships in some way.

I have had clients who have been fearful of their growing and developing psyche. As children growing up, they were very open but shut down through fear of seeing too much.

A great mantra to help with the unblocking of your gifts and talents or even purpose is to say to yourself: ‘this is my time and I am ready for the next step!’

Let the Universe know that you are ready to receive and would like guidance over a certain direction to take or decision to make.

If nothing comes through immediately for you, then pay attention during the day to seemingly significant signs, symbols and inner knowing. These will come through for you. 

Always pay attention to your inner guidance and do the things that you love to do – honour them, make time for them regularly, daily even, and focus on them…

You are showing the Universe that you are worth it. The Universe will respond and guide and support you…

Think back to your childhood. What did you love to do as a child and maybe spent hours doing? Make a list, however small, and start to do them.

I have a friend who is in her 60s, who has made a commitment to herself to try something new that she is drawn to doing, every month.

You are never too old, too fat, too thin, lack time, money or support to do the things you love to do. There are always other ways to do them….!

Honour yourself as you are so worth it!